Can we be all things to our partner?
Updated: Feb 18
Early in my life I thought men were like women. I didn't know any better. Well, of course they were different in manly ways, but I didn't know that they were simply were a different breed of human. A wonderful breed, but a different kind altogether. I thought they would enjoy the same things I did, and generally react to the world in the way I did. As I grew in experience (and it actually took a long time,) I began learning more of the ways of men.
The biggest leap in my understanding of relating to men came when a girlfriend explained that she didn't rely on any one person for all of her needs. She would get a little from this person, and other things from another. These people could be male or female, nonetheless they enhanced my friend's life rather than stressed it. She accepted the gifts her friends brought to her.
Martin Ucik, who developed Integral Relationship, wrote that if couples loved each other, they would try to meet each other needs. However there could be a "...neediness, unhealthy emotional needs and unrealistic expectations."
Balance in our relationships feels good. When we get out of balance by expecting too much of another, or by asking for something our partner is unable to give, we could ask ourselves, "Am I asking for too much?"
What is it that I'm afraid of?"
"Can I find what I want by being more independent?
The Integral Relationship model provides insights to develop answers to these questions and to understand healthy ways to interact with our partner.
More on the subject of expectations is available in Martin's blog "Is it necessary to fulfill all expectations of my partner?"
Mary Gordon is a clairvoyant and clairsentient intuitive. She provides readings for clients who are wanting clarity, counsel, and help with decisions, or to check in to see if they are on the right track. In addition, Mary is a certified and clinical hypnotherapist as well as an Integral Relationship facilitator, teaching the Integral Relationship model to help individuals and couples understand their relationship differences and grow themselves as individuals. Visit her at MagicAndHope.com.